Ma died this morning.
She had a fall nearly 3 weeks ago and was in Hospital, where I have been for most of the time......she had a bleed on the brain and was too old and frail for brain surgery.
Letting 'nature take it's course' for the last week she has had no hydration, food, water or medication of any kind.
Watching someone die ...... It isn't quick and clean and quiet and peaceful...it is painful and noisy and smelly and frightening and sad and feels inhumane.
Time stretches and slows down and speeds up and hovers and becomes air that you can feel.
In the brief period of her rallying last weekend she told me how much she loved me.
A turbulent fractured relationship.....but through holding her hand and kisses on her soft familiar face I knew I loved her too.
Sorry seems such an empty word but I cannot think of word at this time for you.
ReplyDeleteTo know you were loved and loved your mum after all you have been with her I hope comforts you now and in the future.
Sorry to hear of your mum's passing Libby. I thought you had been very quiet. I am surprised at your description of letting nature take its course - I though it was made bearable and pain free today. My father died without help to make it pain free but that was 50 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss Libby. It is always hard to watch as a loved one passes. I've done this too (each time under different circumstances) and understand what you have described. You and your mum were able to acknowledge your love for each other and this is wonderful. Take care Libby and know my thoughts are with you. Susan
ReplyDeleteI am sorry. That was a sad fall to end a long life.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for the loss of your Ma. My aunt died exactly the same way with nothing but a swab to moisten the inside of her mouth for the last week of her life and I thought it was a barbaric way for her to go. My own Ma has become rather maudlin and aware of her own mortality lately so I've become the dutiful daughter and am keeping a watchful eye, more than usual.Thinking of you, Libs. Write anytime. xxx
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so so sorry. I know they might be old and ill but mom is and always will be mom right? I can't for the life of me understand why they withhold water though. That for me would be pure hell - I agree so much with Between Me and You! Again, my condolences! Anna
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. Good that you were able to share your love for each other at the end. May you find some peace in the days ahead.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss, libby. Much has passed over this long life and how wonderful you ended your time together with love.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much everybody for your kind words x
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss. No matter if it was good or bad, it was a lot of years. You have seen and felt so much. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI know it has been almost six months but please accept my condolences upon the death of your dear mother. In a way, I think that the mourning and the sense of loss never leaves us. It just gets less raw.
ReplyDeleteThank you YP x
ReplyDeleteYou have a wonderful view out that window! I'd be gazing out instead of getting my work done!
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